It is nice to have a time of year to focus on what we are all thankful for.

This year I am especially thankful for a few things. About a month ago, I realized that I was operating under a huge seratonin deficiency. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, since I have experienced this at the age of 15, at 27, and a few mildly deficient periods in between. But I work so hard to keep my brain healthy, that I guess I was operating under the false hope that my lifestyle alone could prevent me from having to play the genetic cards I have been dealt.

So this Thanksgiving, I am thankful that:

I don’t need to worry about being institutionalized.

I don’t need to worry about being schizophrenic.

I don’t need to worry about feeling bad about being depressed while my kids are young like my mother. (And mom, I never even realized it when I was a kid… so I hope you don’t worry about it anymore!)

I am thankful that when my husband realized that I felt like a huge failure for not somehow preventing this, he looked at me quizzically and said, “What? Did you get a brain transplant?” I am so thankful that he loves me in sickness and in health!

I am thankful that I have a healthy pancreas, that regulates my blood sugar nicely.

I am thankful that my kids are healthy, and I pray often that they will be spared from the diabetes, depression, and deafness that run in the family.

I am thankful that there are medications that can help with this thing, when my lifestyle choices aren’t enough. And that they can get me out of this pit, so that I can start over, adjust a few things and hope for a relatively unmedicated life. I just have to remember to not be so much of a perfectionist that I am surprised if I need help again.

I am so thankful for the 5 days that I have been feeling normal again. It puts the last few months into very shocking perspective.

And I am actually thankful that I have had the chance (been forced to) reduce my expectations and my “to do” list. It feels so freeing to focus on daily life and not try to add too much more! Now, if I can just stick with that frame of mind even though I am feeling better.

I am thankful for blog friends out there, who do amazing stuff, and make me feel not so alone in this world.

I am most thankful for an amazingly loving, supportive, and fun family. Thanks for being there!

Let’s celebrate!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006 at 8:49 pm and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed, bookmark the Permalink in your Browser, leave a response, or trackback from your own site.