Winter Blues
The winter blues have hit pretty hard. I suppose I should expect it, but it doesn’t make it any easier. And having been through two major depressions already, it is really scary to feel this way. I just really don’t want to go back to where I have been. My main symptom is a complete lack of motivation to do anything. I am still getting up in the morning, so that is a good sign. I just had to schedule an appointment to spend $1000 on a root canal. Ugh! After watching Daniel wait patiently (and not so patiently) for a new camera it makes me feel sick to have to spend so much money this way. I know he doesn’t want me to think about that, but it is hard not to since I wish I could give him everything his heart desires… including a happy wife.
Hmm, how do I encourage you without saying anything trite? I’m not sure I can. I can tell you that I have felt the numbing pain of depression, the sharp disappointment of spending all my money on health problems I’d rather not have, and not being sure how to change my body, my mind, and my spirit. Journeys of pain have a purpose, even when we never understand it. Don’t despair sister, you are not alone.
ugh.
ack.
blah.
I hear you.